Hey, everybody. You’ve missed these posts. I know you have. You won’t admit it, but your inability to articulate your feelings doesn’t diminish the emotion at all. You’re working on it with your therapist, right? Well, okay then, that’s good enough for me.

Eric Honan. Interactive. @erichonan. PDX.
Eric makes art for free and then gives it away

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. To people he doesn’t know. He just puts it in a box or an envelope and sends it off. He also has the best-groomed beard in Portland—which, given all the scraggly, unkempt half-beards up here, isn’t really that tough. But still, his beard is fantastic.

Bobbie DaLuz. Account Services. SLC.
Bobbie didn’t want to tell us anything about herself. She only wanted to talk about other people. She’s the one who told us that Peder farts on airplanes, that Phil wears a beanie to tame his spiky hair, that Kyle hates dogs and that Susan’s nickname is “Mama Kat.” All of this talking, I suppose, also tells us a lot about Bobbie.

Spencer Taggart. Business. SLC.
From 9am to 6pm, Spencer is all business—lunch meetings, golf, hanging his MBA diploma in prominent places, monitoring the stock exchange, taking phone calls on his bluetooth headset, looking at spreadsheets. But when dude leaves the office, it’s all rock all the time. When you see him cranking the Bon Jovi or dropping a karaoke hammer on “More Than Words,” just know that he’ll respond to any of the following monikers: Dudacious, Bro, Curly Sue, Fro, Spence-a-mania, Magnum, Hot Tamale, Mr. America, Studly, Superdude, Tagman, Spence Dogg, Megatron, Sputnik, Froth, Manimal and Boomer.

Matt Manes. Design. SLC.
Matt is a Taurus. He loves tomatoes and black-capped chickadees. And they love him back. Really, they do. We all do.

Tami DeGracie. Business. @mebabydoll Father’s Lion hd Sister Act film

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As the master of finances, Tami is a mathematical genius. For example, she (now) knows that one (1) boy bunny + one (1) not-boy bunny = 72 baby bunnies. Other things you need to know about Tami: She listens to Christmas music in July. She’s addicted to Mtn. Dew. She forces her husband and three sons to watch beauty pageants but never realizes that they’re asleep during the costumes, talents and evening gowns but WIDE awake for the swimsuits.

During today’s Twitter outage, something completely obvious hit me upside the head: Twitter is legit. Given the TIME magazine cover story and the Ashton vs. CNN showdown to 1 million (not to mention Kyality’s recent jump

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onto the USS Tweetie), I should’ve seen this coming a long time ago. So why did it take a 2-hour outage to spark the lightbulb over my head? Because I finally realized that everyone freaking out about the failure is actually a good thing for Twitter.

You see, the outage was a sign that we’ve crossed over from “What’s Twitter?” to “HOLY CRAP, TWITTER IS DOWN! HOW WILL I EVER GET THROUGH THE DAY?!!” It’s a step that shouldn’t be overlooked. People freak out when Google goes down, when the cable TV goes out during Gossip Girl and when the wireless router forces us to get up off the couch and restart it. We don’t freak out when MySpace goes dark for an hour or two. We don’t freak out when Rhapsody is out for a half a day. We don’t even freak out when the mailman doesn’t show up for a day or two.

The bottom line is this: Outages and crashes show us what people value. If people freak out when something you’ve built goes down for a couple hours… then you’re probably doing something right. (But you’d also better fix the problem. Right. Now.)

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Why would we segregate the redheads of Struck/Axiom? 1) It seemed like the right thing to do; and 2) Read this. In all fairness, Mike Torretta (from Part 2) probably should’ve been part of this group, but his ‘roided-out picture deserved separation from the rest of this gingerness.

So, yeah. If you’re anything like Kyality, you’re scared to death right now. It’s okay. Take a deep breath. Keep reading. There’s a slight chance these Gingers might not be as terrifying as they seem.

Tosh Brown ????? ????? ????? . Design. SLC.
Tosh listens to better music—Prince, David Bowie, Serge Gainsbourg and The Cramps—than you. His inspirations—JD Salinger, Wim Crouwel, Josef Muller-Brockman and Michael C. Place—are more inspiring than yours. His toys are exclusive vinyl and yours are just plain plastic. His wife is prettier than your girlfriend and his daughter is more beautiful than all of your children combined. In every possible way, Tosh Brown is a better person than you are. Once you accept this truth, it will be possible find a faint flicker of hope in your perfectly adequate life.

Mike Morris

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. Motion. @xeebtsab. SLC.
Mike is the only redhead in his family. I mean, other than his biological father… the mailman! Zing! Just kidding! C’mon, people! We know Mike’s legitimate. In fact, he legitimately rocked a goatee while attending BYU, an institution that fears facial hair like Mike fears DNA testing… Double zing! But, seriously!

Anson Schall. Interactive. @horribtastic. SLC.
Anson disregarded the warning that if he didn’t submit any information for his profile, I would just make it up and find embarrassing pictures on the internets. But I didn’t have to make up anything. This stuff is all 100% true. Anson grew up in a town called Tehachapi Rogue

, where there are lots of windmills, really tasty apples and a prison. Sometimes, he likes to dress up like a gunslinger. Other times, he’s a hat model. But mostly, he just takes naps. Thanks, Google.

Peder Singleton

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?????? ????? ???? About Last Night… psp Butterfly Effect: Revelation trailer ???????? ? ???? ????? ???? . Design. SLC.
If a Viking and a Pirate had a baby, it would be a lot like Peder Olaf Singleton. Which is weird, because Peder’s mom looks a lot like this… and I’m pretty sure this is his dad. Anywaaaay, about Peder. He’s 100% dude. He’s not afraid to punch you in the glutes. He’s raising his daughters on a healthy diet of Slayer and Pantera’s Cowboys From Hell. And, well, he’s the guy who thinks you can’t hear (or smell) his farts on a non-stop flight from Orlando to Salt Lake City.

(Let’s pretend you just read something really funny right here.) L! O! L!

Now get to know some more Ackers.

Scott Sorenson Still Waters movie download . Design. SLC.
Award-winning quilter, celebrity chef and noted Egyptologist, actor/author/art director Scott Sorenson is currently the host of two competing local talk shows. His one-man Evita swept the Greater Sanpete Area Theatre Awards last June, and his book “Writing Dummies-themed Books for Dummies” is rapidly climbing the Amazon sales charts. Despite his busy schedule as a K-Tel sessions singer, he recently took time off to marry his partner, Walter, in Boston… finally legitimizing their dog children, Casey and Santo.

Pam Colbert ????? ????? 45 ???? ?????? ????? Hard to Kill release ????? ??????? . Producer. @pkc91. SLC.
Pam is from Illinois. She is married to a man named David. She has two children, Vivienne (10) and James (6). When she is not working, she drives her children wherever they wish to be taken. While Pam’s life seems very straightforward, we don’t buy it. We’ve seen Pam’s future as a candy model and that future is bright. So bright that we’ve hired an intern to follow her around and take notes for the inevitable E! Hollywood True Story.

Pauline Ploquin ??????? ??????? ????? ??? ????

. SLC.
Pauline is French. And, while that pretty much sums things up, we don’t mind perpetuating a few good-natured stereotypes. You see, Pauline likes nice things—art, architecture, fashion, food. She loves to hike and ski, but only as long as there’s a hot tub, a glass of wine and a plate of cheese waiting at the end of the day. What makes Pauline the most fascinating woman you’ve ever met is that France has repeatedly threatened to revoke her Frenchness—on account of her automobile: a gold 1993 Mazda Protege.

Ryan Snarr

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. Producer. @Snarrlylunchbox. SLC.
RSnarr has a heart of gold, three kids and the voice of a man-angel. He runs like the wind. He draws like a master. He shoots hoops like a baller. He swings a racket like a rich housewife (that’s a good thing, right?). And, to complete the picture, he carries a lunchbox like a 3rd-grader.

Danny McAlerney ?????? ???? ???? . Interactive. @QuailAndQuasar. PDX.
There are many things you should know about Danny. Sadly we only have time for two of them. Number one: Danny rebuilds mopeds and sometimes wishes he were part of Brooklyn, NY’s Moped Army (google that for all kinds of Hipster nonsense). Number two: Danny is/was/might still be a member of a Judas Priest tribute band.